I'm Not Heartless
by White Firebird
Summary: Again, it probably killed you to tell Carly the truth about her affections, or lack thereof. But you did the right thing. And you know you did."


**Hola everyone. Here's my usual one-shot that I do after every new episode. Obviously, this is based off of iSaved Your Life. I thought it was a very good episode, worth all the hype. It had great comedy and even better character development. But there was so much kissing between Freddie & Carly it was kinda like, hoookay, this is a little awkward. Anyways, here's the story and I hope you all enjoy. And don't forget, Hello, Seattle (my sequel to Truth & Consequences) has been updated, so check it out!**

**I don't own iCarly, but I wish I did. Oh well...**

Freddie stared at the wall of the elevator in disbelief as he rode it down to the first floor of Carly's apartment, leaning back, his weight being supported by his crutches. As the elevator came to a stop on the first floor, he repeated what he had just said to himself when he left the studio, trying his best to comprehend what just happened mere moments ago.

"What did I do?"

He hobbled out of the elevator and saw Spencer lying on the floor, a giant paint splatter on his forehead as he groaned, his blow tube a lying a few feet away. He also saw a giant lollipop on the floor and an open box. Freddie looked around suspiciously, but then shrugged his shoulders, muttering "It's not my business" to himself as he exited through the open door and stared at his own apartment's door for a few moments. He knew that his mother was expecting him to return home so she could spray him, but he truthfully didn't want to go through such torture methods once again. But he also knew that she'd get mega worried and begin to wonder if Carly was doing anything to him…but he didn't care.

He didn't want to think about Carly, about what happened…he didn't want to think about anything. All he wanted to do was just be alone, and he knew he wouldn't get such privacy if he went home. So he turned on his broken leg gingerly, and began to hobble down the hall to the one place where he knew he could achieve such solitude and serenity; the fire escape.

But when Freddie arrived at his destination, he wasn't expecting to see Sam there, sitting down on the steel steps, her back turned to him, as she stared out at the rainy Seattle nightlife. He had to admit, there was something unnervingly and oddly peaceful about the way Sam looked right now; it was as if she was, for all intents and purposes, alone, with only the various thoughts running through her head to keep her occupied as she sat rigidly on the steps of the fire escape…_their_ fire escape. Freddie quickly shook that moment from his head, opting to quietly turn around and leave Sam alone. He reasoned with himself that if anyone deserved time to themselves about anything, Sam was that person. But no sooner than he had turned around did he hear her voice call out to him, as if she had known he was there all along.

"Where do you think you're going, Benson", she said, her back still turned to him, startling Freddie a little as he shifted around to face her back. Confusion was stricken all across his face as he opened his mouth to speak, yet was cut off by the feisty blonde.

"I could hear your crutches down the hall from a mile away, so don't ask how I knew you were here", Sam spoke as she turned around to face him, an unexpected smile on her lips as she motioned for him to come visit her on the place where they shared their most intimate moment together. He shook his head and began to walk away, but again, her voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Freddie, don't walk away. You need someone to talk to right now, and you aren't intruding on anything. So come on, just hobble on out here and sit."

"No, Sam", he began as he again shifted his body around as slowly as he could so that he didn't exacerbate the pain in his broken leg. "You're obviously out here by yourself for a reason, so I don't want to intrude on your privacy. I'll just go home and lock myself in my room…I'll figure something out. I'll just see ya tomorrow or whatever, bye", he said with a grimace as he twisted back around to go back to his apartment, but this time, it wasn't Sam's voice that stopped him, it was her hand upon his shoulder that had him doing yet another about face.

"Seriously Puckett, it's fine, I'll live. You don't need to do this", he said sternly, removing her hand from his shoulder, but also losing his balance in the process. If it wasn't for Sam reaching out and preventing him from falling, he'd of probably suffered another setback in his recovery from the broken arm and leg that had been plaguing him since that taco truck hit him. As Sam helped him back up to a vertical base and gave him back his crutch, he sighed inwardly, realizing very quickly that he wasn't going to win this battle with Sam, not that he ever won battles with her anyways.

"You gonna tell me that you don't wanna talk about anything now, Freddie?", she asked almost sarcastically as he gave her a mildly defeated look and then motioned towards the window to the fire escape. "That's what Mama thought. Now c'mon Benson, give me your crutch and your hand so that you don't kill yourself trying to get out here."

He handed her his crutches and then quickly grasped her hand so he didn't fall, with her gently pulling him over the windowsill ledge and out into the cold, rainy Seattle weather. A flash of lightning lit up the sky, illuminating Sam's facial features, something that Freddie managed to catch a quick glimpse of. She looked…restless. Like she knew something and was trying to figure out the best way to verbalize it all. He wondered what could possibly be bugging her this much, seeing as she had won the game of assassin, from what he gathered together when he left the Shay's apartment before he arrived here.

"What's got you all bothered?", Freddie asked Sam as they both sat down, very close to each other on the steps, closer than he ever imagined. She looked over to him and gave him what appeared to be a sympathetic smile, her lips curving slightly before she let out a deep breath.

"It's not about what's got me bothered. I'm fine, Freddie. It's about what should be bothering you", she responded slowly, dragging out the syllables of the last word to give it more effect. Freddie's features softened, becoming slightly quizzical as he arched an eyebrow and pursed his lips together, formulating the right words to use in his head before he said them.

"What do you mean? What should be bothering me?", he asked quickly, finding himself to be getting defensive. He had a feeling he knew what Sam was going to say next, but that didn't make not wanting to hear the words come out of her mouth any less excruciating for him. And almost on cue, Sam spoke the words he knew she would speak.

"I heard everything that happened up in the studio, Freddie."

His eyes instantly closed shut, and he tried his hardest to flush out the words that were now beginning to slowly swim around inside of his head, the constant annoyance of hearing Sam in there now agitating him. He waited and waited for her to insult him and make him feel worthless, even though he took her advice in the end. But the harsh, stinging words never came. She just continued to look at him with the same sympathetic look she had been giving him since he got here.

"I just want to say that…I'm proud of you, Benson."

That much he wasn't expecting to hear. He was mostly expecting Sam to rub it in his face that she was right all along about Carly not liking him for who he is, but liking him for his heroic act. After all, if there was one person who knew Carly better than herself, it was Sam. That just comes along with being best friends since the fifth grade. But Sam actually being proud of him? Something had to be up with her if she was saying things like this.

"You…you're proud of me? I don't understand", he muttered, his eyes fixated on the heavy rain and the city lights. Thankfully for the two of them, they were protected from the rain due to the fact that they were sitting under the awning, where the rain couldn't get to them. "Why would you say something like that? I know for a fact that you'd rather suck on a thousand lemons than ever be proud of me for something I did."

Sam shook her head and, oddly enough, placed her hand on Freddie's knee, the good one at least. She looked him in the eye and took another deep breath before continuing on with her little mini speech.

"You did the right thing, Freddie. You realized that Carly's feelings weren't really for you…they were for the fact that you pushed her out of the way of that taco truck and saved her life. You were, unfortunately, her foreign bacon. And although I know it probably killed you on the inside to tell her that and gently take her off her perch, you did what was right for yourself. You showed you have some dignity. And for that, I'm proud of you. I never thought you of all people had that in you."

Freddie looked at Sam long and hard, wondering if she was just jerking his chain, like she so always loved to do, or if she really meant what she was saying. He hardly saw past the walls that Sam had built around her, and the few times, it was either an accident or just in the heat of the moment. She reserved those moments for Carly and Carly only. So needless to say, Freddie was more than surprised, shocked even, that Sam was, in a way, opening up to him. It just showed how much she had grown up in the two and a half years since they had started doing iCarly.

But that didn't mean he should be sitting here, subjecting himself to Sam's words, whether she was sincere or not. He wanted to come out here to the fire escape and tune out the world for a few hours. Freddie didn't want to think about what he just gave up, no matter how shallow and superficial it seemed. Carly was his, and he let her go, all because of what Sam said. Her words continued to ring in his head, but he didn't want them to. He started to get up, grabbing his crutches, before Sam reached out and stopped him.

"Why are you leaving?", she asked softly, the rain staring to die down a little bit.

"Why do you think I am?", he said in response, breaking free of her grip. But when she touched his hand again with her own, something inside him told him to stop, compelled him to stay behind. What that force was, he didn't know. But Freddie went with his heart, not his head, this time, and remained where he was.

"Freddie, I know you're upset and hurt that you gave up the girl of your dreams, mostly because of what I told you. Again, it probably killed you to tell Carly the truth about her affections, or lack thereof. But you did the right thing. And you know you did."

"Then tell me why I feel like I just gave up the greatest thing that could have possibly happened to me because of something you said."

Sam took a deep breath and let out an elongated sigh; she had a feeling that the conversation would come to this. She scratched the back of her head and her face resembled that of someone looking for answers to a question they didn't have any for.

"You knew it was wrong, Freddie. I was just trying to help you to figure that out."

"Why though? You've never, ever helped me out with something like this before."

"Why? I did it because I'm your friend, Freddie. You know this."

"You could have fooled me, Sam."

She rolled her eyes and grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing him to look her straight in the eye. He was a little scared at first, thinking she was going to hit him, but then he saw the look in her eyes and realized that maybe she was being sincere and trying to be a good friend for once.

"Benson, I'm abrasive. That doesn't mean that I'm not heartless, though. Whether you want to believe it or not, I care about you and your feelings. Sure, I never show it, but you know me; I can't let anyone think I've grown soft. I've got a reputation to uphold. You of all people should know that. But just because I never show those emotions in public doesn't mean I don't really care about you. You've become a great friend, Freddie. You really have."

She then let go of his shoulders and moved past him, towards the windowsill. She began to swing her legs over so she could leave and go home, but this time around, it was Freddie's voice that stopped her where she was. Sam slowly turned around to face her crippled friend, who was giving her an almost pleading look.

"Yeah, Freddie?"

"Don't go…I don't want you walking home in the rain."

"Then what do you want."

"For you to stay. It'd be nice to have some company out here…"

Sam smiled briefly, before nodding her head. She stepped back out onto the fire escape, sitting next to Freddie on the steps, looking out at the Seattle nightlife, the rain having stopped now. The moon began to emerge from the heavy clouds, and it shone down upon the two of them as Sam put her arm around Freddie's shoulders.

"It's alright, Benson…Mama's got ya."


End file.
